A word about West Virginia

     I don't have thick enough skin to be a real blogger.  Whenever you put words out into the world, it's inevitable that someone will hear them differently than you intended (or perhaps exactly how you intended, but they are unexpectedly hurt or angered).  As a preacher, I certainly know this and realize I can not always be responsible for how my words are heard.  Still, I was bothered to learn that my last thoughts on states' self-esteem had upset at least one West Virginian friend.  Bothered enough to attempt, now, some explanation.

     I wrote this: "West Virginia has one of the lowest self-esteems of any of the 50 states.  You can't even make jokes about West Virginia without feeling like you're kicking a puppy.  West Virginia's the overweight girl hiding behind her hair, off to the left in Chemistry class, praying no one can see her - but she sparkles when she's at home with her family."

And I stand by my analogy.  I would like to clarify, however:

• One's self-esteem is not synonymous with one's actual worth.  That is to say, one's own opinion about one's value, beauty, or talent is not the same as one's actual value, beauty, or talent.  One may hold oneself in either too high or too low esteem.  Therefore, to say that West Virginia has a low self-esteem is not to say that West Virginia isn't a valuable, beautiful, or wonderful place with much to offer.  Rather, West Virginia often underestimates herself.
• Those who know West Virginia well ("her family") know exactly how "she sparkles" - how the fog traps between her hills and clings to the rivers, how the rainbow of fall creeps in and takes your breath away with a thousand shades of fire, how her people are loyal and sometimes wary but warm and willing enough to pull up an extra chair at the family table.
• I wasn't poking fun at West Virginia (I know well the danger of that: "You can't even make jokes about West Virginia...") but at the often ridiculous hubris of Texas.  It really is ridiculous.  

I loved living in West Virginia.  I will no doubt continue to realize all the things I love about West Virginia as I miss them.  And I already plan to take my children back someday in the fall, so they can fall in love with their birthplace.

In Texas...

[This may be an ongoing post topic, as we adjust to our new/old home state.]

In Texas...

• we bathe the kids with the hose in the backyard.  We like to think of it as a water conservation effort - an important thing in Texas.  It definitely uses less water than a bath or a shower.  And it waters the grass at the same time.  These are actually just the side benefits though.  Mostly, we do it because we're too lazy to undertake real baths for 4 kids.  Not always.  Just some nights.  I'm pretty sure this isn't a "Texas thing," as in a practice of the general population. It's just us as far as I know.
• people like to pretend they're in an independent country.  There's a beer here that bills itself as the "National Beer of Texas."  I am pretty sure that 75% of Texans never even recognize that as humorous. They are the same ones who don't know we lost the battle at the Alamo. When I moved to New Jersey and West Virginia I realized that states have varied self-esteems.  New Jersey's is fairly low, but in a belligerent way.  New Jersey is the skinny high-school boy dressed entirely in black, with clunky boots, and a sneer on his face.  He doesn't care what you think of him, because he already knows it's nothing good.  West Virginia has one of the lowest self-esteems of any of the 50 states.  You can't even make jokes about West Virginia without feeling like you're kicking a puppy.  West Virginia's the overweight girl hiding behind her hair, off to the left in Chemistry class, praying no one can see her - but she sparkles when she's at home with her family.  In contrast, New Mexico (another state I claim as home) has a pretty high self esteem.  Sure, there are a lot of poverty and immigration issues, and many people don't even know it's a state.  But she's gorgeous and doesn't really give a damn what you think of her.  Her hair's long and sleek and she's just as likely to smoke pot on a Saturday night as she is to play the violin in her grandfather's mariachi band.  And she'll graduate in the top of her class without even trying and go on to art school in New York City.  And then there's Texas.  Texas doesn't even know it's merely a state.  One of 50.  He's the quarterback, and homecoming king, and everyone likes him... at least that's what he thinks.  He laughs loud and talks big and doesn't ever realize half the crowd finds him annoying.  And in his defense, they choose to keep hanging around him.  One of my friends from West Virginia asked me the other day, "Why do people from Texas always tell you they're from Texas?"  It's a state self-esteem thing.
• my kids are picking up some Spanish.  They no longer say (too loudly), "Why are they speaking Spanish?" every time someone near us is speaking Spanish.  They're getting used to the bilingual nature of Texas.  Now, they say the Pledge of Allegiance each morning at school, first in English and then in Spanish.  (I did this in elementary school, too, and I've always thought it was a little ironic.) And they're picking up a few phrases here and there.  For example, I think Asher must have heard the word cucaracha because he walked past a dead roach outside the other day and said, "Watch out for the big enchilada!"
• we're trying on old friends, and old selves in the process.  After being mostly out-of-touch with college friends for the last 11 years, it's different to be living where old roommates can stop by with their families on the way to the beach.  So we've already gotten to reconnect with some friends from college, and are likely to encounter more in the coming months.  It's this odd (though enjoyable) process of figuring out what type of friendship potential you have now, post-grad school/career choice/marriage/kids.  It's also like being re-introduced to your old self - the person you used to be when you last hung out with that person.  The remembering's a lot of fun, and the making-friends-again is too.   It'll be interesting to figure out what fits.